ARIES FOREVER

When I was five, I liked to be amazing.  I didn't think I needed to learn to read, because I didn't care.  Then a friend came over, and she bragged about being able to read.  I had to prove that I was better than her.

I got too lazy to give her hair.

Once she'd left, I told my dad I needed to learn how to read.  He brought out these things called "Bob Books" and read them to me.

Doesn't this look like an intriguing story?

Not surprisingly, I got bored of these rather quickly.  I told dad those were stupid and that I wanted something that didn't suck.  

At first he wasn't really on board with it, since he didn't want me to "rush things."  But after a little persuasion, I was able to bump myself up to Junie B. Jones.

The next day I went over to her house, and read her a Junie B. Jones book, while she was still in picture books.  This way, I won.  

And as an Aries, I always win.